You Might Be a Mom If…

You have a story similar to this:

6:06 am and the gruntings I’ve been hearing for several minutes break into a full cry, which signals that it is time to start the day and feed Sawyer. I say start the day even though I feel like the last one never ended. We had just went back to sleep around 4:30 and I had really hoped he would sleep longer. So we nurse and he falls back to sleep. I hold him and rock him a few more minutes, then put him down so we can both sleep. He wakes up within 2 minutes, grunting, crying, kicking. Gas. Our enemy. I pick him up, we go to the living room so I can walk, bounce, pat, etc. He falls back asleep, so I put him in his bouncy seat and go to fix a bowl of cereal. The sink is full of dishes, including every bowl we own (thanks to all the cereal and soup I eat). I wash a bowl. The crying and screaming starts. Didn’t even get the cereal poured. Pick him up, bounce, pat, sooth, give him Mylicon, etc. Eventually he is calm and back to sleep. I am able to eat before he wakes again. He acts like he wants to nurse again, so we give it a try. His belly is clearly upset and a couple times I think he is going to puke all over me. I get a burp cloth in place. He gets the hiccups. So now we are battling gas and hiccups. I am helpless, but it has been nearly 2 hours since he had the Mylicon so I try the gripe water. He settles down and is just looking around the living room hiccuping.

Explosion! He pooped. Finally. He had clearly been working on it for a couple hours. Poor guy. Explosion! More poop. Explosion! The remaining poop. I wait a moment in case there is more. Sawyer starts crying and I feel something warm on my arm. Poop. It is all down his leg, covering his baby blue pants and getting on my arm. To the changing table we go. Oh my. He has never pooped like this before. I wanted to take pictures. It was amazing. The huge cloth diaper was completely full. The outside was covered on one side. It is everywhere. So I get him changed and clearly a bath is a good idea. I put him in a diaper in his crib while I wash out the clothes, wipes, diaper.

Bath time. This went great. He seemed to be enjoying it. Fantastic. I wrap him in a towel and take him from the kitchen sink to stand under the heater in the bathroom. Something wet hits my feet. Pee. He is peeing and it is running down my shirt and puddling on my foot and in the floor. I wipe my foot on the rug and take him to his room, where I strip & throw on my robe which is thankfully in there. I wipe him off, then do the lotion & get dressed routine. The socks I laid out were a darker blue than in his outfit, so I walk over to get baby blue socks. I step in something. Dog pee. A puddle a dog pee compliments of Stewie (Lucy never pees inside). I wipe my foot on my already peed on clothes that were piled in the floor as I scream at the dog. Sawyer is content, so I gather my clothes and then clean up both puddles of pee.

Now I need a bath. I sit Sawyer in his bouncy seat in the bathroom floor. He loves all the lights and the sound of the fan. I shower and get ready while he falls asleep.

10 am and we’re both fed, bathed, and he’s finally sleeping.

So if you ever arrive at my house and see a bathroom that looks like this, with wet rug, towels, baby clothes soaking on the sink, and a baby in the bathroom floor… well now you know why.

For the record, he came through all the mess pretty well. Look how adorable our little guy is

Thanks to Aunt Becca for the outfit. And let’s not talk about Sawyer’s balding, he is very sensitive about it. LOL>

Any other Moms, or Dads, have a gross or hilarious story you would like share? =)